I’ve Seen My Share of Spitzers: The View From an Escort Service
The disgraced former NY governor is not alone, writes "Ruth Henderson," a former booking agent for high-priced Manhattan call girls.
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So New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned because the FBI discovered he was sleeping with expensive call girls. America, predictably, went crazy. A man cheated on his wife! Quick, call all the pop psychologists and famous feminist authors, and book them for the morning talk shows! And I, a former booking agent at one of New York’s most exclusive escort agencies, just rolled my eyes.
Remember that scene from Casablanca, when Captain Renault declares that he is shocked, shocked to find gambling going on — just as the croupier hands him his winnings? I keep thinking of that scene when I read about all those politicians who are baying for Spitzer’s blood. Because I know, and they know, that almost all of them have been escort agency clients too. Show me a rich and powerful man between the ages of 35 and 60 who has never paid an escort for sex, and I will show you a man who is a very rare exception.
But why would a rich, powerful and handsome man pay for extra-marital sex? Aren’t there tons of women waiting to throw themselves at him for free? Yes, there are. But those women always want something: they want attention, intimacy and romance. They want to enjoy the high of sleeping with a powerful man. Escorts don’t want or care about any of those things. At least one of the articles about the 22 year-old escort who slept with Spitzer implied that she didn’t even know who he was. Based on my experience, I think it’s highly unlikely that she knew or cared. She was in it for the money, and she had as much to hide as he did.
One high-powered New York attorney explained it to me like this: “Of course I love my wife. Escorts have nothing to do with that. She comes to my hotel room and I don’t have to know her name, because they all use fake names like Amber and Kimberly. I don’t have to worry about how she feels or what she wants. It’s a simple exchange: I give her a thousand bucks, we have a good time for a couple of hours, she goes away and we never have to see each other again.”
A thousand dollars is nothing for these men. Money has little value; because no matter how hard they try they will never be able to spend their hundreds of millions. And if you are about to say that for a thousand bucks those girls must supply the best sex in history, then you really do not understand this world. Because it is not about sex; it is about power. And the simple act of ordering up an anonymously pretty 22 year-old girl to do your bidding in the salubrious confines of a luxury hotel suite is an act of power.
So, how common is this escorts plus rich-and-powerful men phenomenon? Really common. So common, that one aspiring model who worked for my agency told me she was leaving her midtown apartment, which was located near the luxury hotels, white shoe law firms and hedge funds of Manhattan, and moving downtown because she could not poke her head out her front door without running into a client. The aspiring model, by the way, started working as an escort because, as she put it, “I have sex with photographers and agents for free, just because they promise that they might get me a modeling job. At least with the escort agency clients I know for sure that I’ll get paid.”
The clients at my agency ranged from Saudi princes — including one who showed me his Harvard ID card when he came to the office to pay in advance by credit card for a night with two girls - to ordinary Wall Street billionaires. A lot of them were nice family guys — albeit the kind who could afford eight bedroom apartments on upper Madison Avenue, a weekend estate in the Hamptons, a full time driver and a private plane. They took me out for lunch at the Four Seasons and we talked about books and politics. Anything but sex. I went because I enjoyed their company. They were smart, interesting, well-educated men.
In fact, I rarely discussed sex with the escorts, either. This was for the protection of all of us: if we were ever questioned by the police, we could safely stick to the story that the clients paid for companionship, and that sex was something that happened between two adults but it certainly was not the service we offered. The only time I heard specifics about clients from the escorts was when the client was “difficult.” If I heard the same complaint from more than two girls, I would either blacklist the client or make sure that I sent a girl who could handle his type.
Take, for example, the CEO of an international airline who was a cocaine freak. Once a month, usually over a weekend, he would check into a suite at the Pierre, call the agency and book a dozen or so girls. He would book the girls for four hours each, staggered over the following two days. According to the girls, all he did was sit half-naked on his bed next to a mountain of cocaine, which he snorted constantly while crying about his divorce and the stress he endured at work. As the hours progressed, he would become increasingly paranoid and irrational. Every so often he would pass the tray of cocaine over to the girl and insist that she take some. So I would only send girls who had long hair, which they used to hide the fact that they were not really snorting the cocaine but rather brushing it aside; and I would make sure the girls were sufficiently tough to handle a guy who would occasionally sidle up to the window, look down and mutter that “they might be coming to get him.”
Once, that particular client ran out of cash toward the end of the weekend. In a shaking voice he asked me to please let him pay by check, because he just could not be alone. So I agreed, because he was a regular client. The next day I took the check to his private bank and exchanged it for several thousand dollars in cash — after the clerk, who had the client on speed dial, called to verify that the shaky signature was really his.
Another “difficult” client would offer the girls $40,000 in cash if she would agree to have intercourse without a condom. Or there was the one who like to watch girls defecate on a glass table. And then there was the Wall Street guy who had a closet full of sado costumes. He would instruct the girls to wear them and perform for him while he sat in an armchair wearing only an adult diaper.
But most of the clients were of the cookie-cutter variety: rich, powerful, cynical and married. About 95 percent of the clients were married. I remember one who was flipping through the photo album in the office, pointing approvingly at various escorts’ bathing suit shots, while carrying on a mobile phone conversation with his wife. Apparently she was redecorating, and they could not agree on the colors for his office.
Yes, I did become cynical, jaded and confused. On the one hand I could not deny the basic reality of supply and demand. None of these girls was coerced into selling her body for money. Most of them came from middle-class backgrounds, and many had been accepted to universities. But they dropped out as soon as they discovered that they could make $20-30,000 a month as an escort.
Then they got addicted to the money and the lifestyle. And then one day, usually between the ages of 25 and 28, once they’d developed that knowing, experienced look that clients instinctively disliked, they found that themselves in a classic bind: they were addicted to high living but could no longer pay for it; they had no marketable skills; and years of late nights and lazy days had left them with no self-discipline. What to do? The really smart ones pulled themselves together and, with the help of a sympathetic client, started some kind of a business. Others married rich, cynical, older men in a sort of paid-wife arrangement. Those were the most common stories. I did not inquire into the fate of the girls who sort of faded away. I did not want to hear about their loneliness and poverty.
So the value of the escorts declined rapidly as they aged. Meanwhile, the value of the clients increased because they accumulated more money and more power. I could not make my peace with the power imbalance, even though I understood intellectually that the men would always want to pay women for sex, and there would always be women who wanted to be paid for sex.
But as a modern woman brought up to believe in romance, intimacy, equality between the sexes and monogamy, I had a really hard time dealing with the dawning understanding that the very men I’d been taught to value — my peers, as it were — were pretty atavistic types. They seemed to prefer whores in the bedroom and ladies in the salon.
And so, we come to Spitzer’s wife. Apparently, she urged her husband not to resign. I can understand her. They may have stopped having sex years ago, as many high-powered couples do. If so, she knew he had not stopped having sex altogether — just with her. And if so, she stayed with him because she enjoyed being the wife of the attorney general, and then the wife of the governor. She liked the social perks, and the money. And she may have loved him, despite it all.
As long as they kept up appearances, everything was fine. She had her life, he had his, and they had the kids. But now, the mask of hypocritical social propriety has been ripped off. Her female friends are all looking at their husbands, knowing that they dodged a bullet. And Mrs. Spitzer must figure out how to maintain her dignity in the face of mainstream America’s hypocritical opprobrium.
“Ruth Henderson” is a pseudonym for a writer and blogger who once worked as a booker at a New York escort service
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81 Comments
Gus:That is the greatest article I have ever read regarding high-end prostitution.
Thank you for an enlightening look into how the system really works.
If “Ruth” were to give parents advice on how to keep their children from falling into this business, what would it be?
Mar 13, 2008 - 5:16 am Sassenach:And there, in the closing paragraphs of this “everybody does it” article, stands the reason for making prostitution illegal:
“I did not inquire into the fate of the girls who sort of faded away. I did not want to hear about their loneliness and poverty.”
Prostitution is dehumanizing.
I have a different interpetation of Spitzer’s wife. She has three daughters to protect and she will do anything, suffer anything, in order to protect them. Resignation isn’t just loss of position, it’s loss of income and other benefits with no replacement in sight. Even with her own employment, it still poses a considerable drop in present standards of living. She’s standing at the edge of an abyss and instinctively trying to preserve what she has. Eventually she’ll figure out what she needs to do that’s best for her family.
Yeah, she’s been dehumanized, too.
Mar 13, 2008 - 5:28 am Adam:WHY DONT THESE RETARDS GET IT?
No he broke the law while being in charge of upholding the law, it’s not that he cheated on his wife.
Mar 13, 2008 - 5:59 am Redball6:OUCH!
Mar 13, 2008 - 7:11 am Snoop Diggity-DANG-Dawg:“Ruth” opens with, “So New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned because the FBI discovered he was sleeping with expensive call girls. America, predictably, went crazy.”
No, “madam”, America did not go crazy because the governor slept with a call girl. America is rightly pissed that the chief executor of New York state law:
1. violated his oath of office and the public trust by breaking the very laws he swore to uphold.
2. made himself vulnerable to blackmail.
3. is very possibly guilt of selectively/unfairly applying the powers of his office in return for favors.
But don’t feel bad. I wouldn’t expect a whore to understand that. After all, the totality of your existence is muddled in the grey, tepid soup of Machiavellian equivocation.
Mar 13, 2008 - 7:39 am Nason:Well, here is one male reader who is not enamored with power, but with his one and only wife of 17 years. Ruth, you can believe in “romance, intimacy, equality between the sexes and monogamy.” It is what is right, and fulfilling. I count myself richer than any of those clients you describe, not because I have their money, but because I am blessed with a spouse who supports me, is my partner in all endeavors - including raising our children, challenges me to be better than I am, reminds me of my moral duties as a man and father, helps me keep my values in perspective, and shares in some very satisfying intimacy. She and I complete each other like pieces of a puzzle. That’s worth more than all the power and material wealth in the world.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:06 am Jerry:It is about Spitzer cheating on his wife, as well as breaking the law. If we as a society would stop trying to obfuscate the behavior of such men as Spitzer, and held them and ourselves to the highest ethical standards, we would all be better off.
Ms. Henderson is undoubtedly giving us an accurate description of high prostitution. However, this market segment is only a very tiny fraction of the sex for hire trade. We all have an idea of the degradation at the bottom end from the newspapers, TV shows and even casual observation on the streets.
I suspect the majority of call girls operate in the middle ground making 50-100k a year. These women have to endure the same potential humiliations and degradations as high end girls without the compensation. I am sure that they seldom have the opportunity to marry the rich and powerful because frankly they seldom have them as clients. They are far more likely to either end up on the streets or end up in the bottom half of the income distribution as they age out and lose their looks.
Prostitution is not pretty and although I have no real problem with women who choose this life operating as independent providers I remain convinced that legalization of corporate prostitution would be a major societal mistake.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:07 am Andy Freeman:How much dignity can Mrs. Spitzer have when she sticks by a man who hides behind her?
Yes, hides behind her. The whole point of bringing her to the press conferences is to get sympathy. Spitzer is unwilling to take the heat that he earned, heat that he was quite willing to dish out.
He’s a coward and she’s an enabler.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:16 am Wildmonk:This is an extremely interesting and surprisingly well written article (the rudeness of some commenters notwithstanding).
But, ma’am, let us get one thing straight: few people care that Spitzer was having sex outside of marriage. Instead, the outrage comes from the fact that Spitzer took no quarter once he was on a mission to demonize someone in private industry. You could be well and fully within the law and yet still find yourself “perp-walked” and have your reputation dragged through the mud. THAT is the issue: even law-abiding citizens weren’t good enough for Spitzer and his “high ethical standards.” Now we find out that he was breaking laws left and right just to get his rocks off. He deserves prison for this if only as a payback for the pain he inflicted upon others just to advance his own career.
As far as prostitution being illegal, you yourself know that prostitution is dehumanizing. The question is, should people be free to choose this path despite knowing this? Perhaps if it weren’t illegal, people like Ms. “Henderson” would provide a greater degree of care for those who “sort of faded away.” Maybe she’d evolve into more of an “agent” for the girls; helping them maximize their value and plan for their post-prostitution days.
Or maybe nothing would change other than more people being drawn into stupid choices early that severely undermine their prospects later in life. Indeed, my bet is that things would only get worse if more people chose such a lifestyle (especially since most prostitutes would not be working in a “high end” service anyway) and that we’d regret such a change in a few years.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:25 am Valerie:When I was in law school, a prostitute tried to recruit me. She said, “It’s $200 for 20 minutes worth of work.” She took my silence as signifying that she had scored a point. In fact, all it meant is that I realized that I could never get her to understand my point of view.
The governor of any state is in a position of public trust, and his decisions should not be influenced, for example, by the Mafia enforcer for his favorite madam. According to the press reports, this investigation originated because of odd bank transfers that could have been blackmail payments.
Had he been a businessman, his name would probably not have surfaced, unless there had been other illegal activity besides prostitution. Had he been a normal Democratic politician, he could have weathered this crisis.
But in this case, the customer turned out to be a spectacular hypocrite, a former prosecutor who had used old prostitution laws to ruin the lives of people who are better than he. That’s why this story broke, and that’s why he’s a joke, and that’s why he had to resign.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:25 am right:The author may be legit (although, to me, this sounds like someone’s idea of what high-end prostitution MUST be like) , but they are certainly very covetous of the rich.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:32 am Jimmy:Sounds like the author has been reading some feminist theory: guys get prostitutes for sex, not power. It’s lust on overdrive because they can satisfy any desire with pocket change.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:43 am tom swift:I had a really hard time dealing with the dawning understanding that the very men I’d been taught to value - my peers, as it were -
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:47 am pwyll:Your peers? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! You have to hide under rocks, and can’t even use your real name. These men are are far from your peers as it’s possible to be.
There is a point that some just cannot seem to understand, so let me try to make it by analogy.
Generally I would not care if you smoked a bit of weed. None of my business, even if it is against the law. But I would care very if your day job as a DEA agent was breaking into people’s houses and destroying their lives for smoking weed.
It’s not about adultery, it’s not about prostitution. It is about a DA/Governor ruining citizens lives for doing the same damn thing he did for kicks.
Get it?
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:49 am Marty:Has anyone asked Obama if he has ever hired a hooker? If not, why not? He;s a democrat; lets get his answer on the record.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:55 am Mimi:When I was about 16, I answered an ad for ‘receptionist - part time’ in the Village Voice. The interview took place in a tony East Side of Manhattan brownstone. The man who interviewed me was in his 30’s, dapper and a bit manic - quirky - dressed in black. I dressed like a schoolgirl going to a job interview. Quite a contrast. He made it very clear from the beginning of the interview that the company that he was hiring for was a high-class brothel. I was a bit surprised, but was curious and stuck around to see what would unfold. We ended up having a long conversation about our different views of life (all the while clients were coming and going, and women were walking in and out half naked and disposing of used underwear…). I think he was fascinated to meet someone who was everything that he was not - young, optimistic, innocent of heart, believing in love… He told me at one point that ‘I was the type that was expecting a knight to ride in on a white horse’. I laughed but did not argue with that. At another point in the conversation, he noted (quite rightly) that I was totally in his power - he could do anything he wanted to me. I simply agreed with that point (after all, I was alone - a petite, young teen) and let the conversation move elsewhere. When we walked back out on the street (I never looked at innocent-looking brownstones quite the same after that) he told me that if I wanted he could ‘really make something out of me’. I told him that I took it as a compliment - but he was already clear enough on my outlook on life to realize that I would not want to become a prostitute, nor would I even be a secretary in the brothel. It just wasn’t my style (and not out of a sense of conservatism - I was a modern manhattan girl - it just wasn’t where I saw myself headed). When we parted, he kissed me on the forehead… kind of a tender gesture. I think maybe I represented to him everything that he once was and would not easily be again… I think I touched him - I wondered at the time if meeting me and talking for so long(he kept on insisting as we talked that nobody got his time - and wondered why he wanted to talk to me - a schoolgirl… and then he would continue the conversation)I wondered if talking to me had some gentling/comforting effect on him… It is interesting - now I am a grown woman and looking back I see how hard it is when you choose that longer road - when you take the path of pursuing your dreams - professionally, personally. I am now finishing a phd (even after dropping out of high school the year of the above meeting due to family instability and a latent learning disability) and have been through one very bad marriage that I am thankfully out of. It is interesting - as hard as the road has been, I’m glad I took my path to pursue dreams, visions and hopes. At heart we are all who we always were, and in spite of many difficulties, I remain the optimistic and slightly romantic teen that turned down a lucrative career those years ago. Some visions take alot longer than others to bear fruit, and not everyone has the patience and tolerance for discomfort (and even suffering) to see their dreams and hopes through….. Thanks for listening to my rather long reminiscence. P.S. - Thank you for a wonderful article.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:56 am jim:A very good insightful article. But even the author cannot escape the stench and distorted perspective. She talks about “hypocrisy” from those who engage in it as if everyone does. I have news for for her, everyone doesn’t. It’s not cool or hip or “post” something but day after day many men are loyal and honest. It is not something power people, the takers, and those striving to be the elite want to know because it exposes their own corruption and their delusion that this is what needs to be done to properly identify as one of the successful people.
Mar 13, 2008 - 9:06 am sharinlite:Whether or not prostitution is made legal has nothing to do with this type of operation. There will always be people, the majority men, in the upper income/wealth category who will seek this out or create it if it doesn’t. Making everyday, regular prostitution legal makes sense. Include good wages and health care, along with 401K, IRA’s
Mar 13, 2008 - 9:26 am Fred Beloit:and other benefits and you won’t have to worry about those that “faded” away. It is what it is and has never been able to be altered or changed so, make it legal. But, I also find it telling that many of those that have “faded” while still in the business “married”…it always comes down to that for females. That is the shame!!
“And the simple act of ordering up an anonymously pretty 22 year-old girl to do your bidding in the salubrious confines of a luxury hotel suite is an act of power.”
Now who’s the pop psychologist?
Mar 13, 2008 - 9:29 am Kurmudge:Sassenach- she is not in the “loss of income” position; Spitzer is a second-gen inherited wealth baby looking for fame and power via politics like the Kennedy clan. His wife will be able to get all the money she wants in any divorce settlement.
Mar 13, 2008 - 9:37 am kurt9:Eliot Spitzer has three teenage daughters. He pays considerable money to have anonymous sex with pretty, young girls. No relationship, no anything beyond anonymous sex with nubile young girls. What message is he sending to his own daughters about what he values women for?
Mar 13, 2008 - 9:54 am Michelle:I only decided to comment because the article was very well written. Thank you Ruth.
It took me several years to get over my negative feelings of the escort industry after having run 2 agencies (none were high class) for a total of 6 1/2 years. My biggest issue were the escorts, NOT the clients. My clients were very nice, it was the escorts who caused me 90% of the problems, so you can feel sorry for them & that just makes me laugh.
After starting my business selling books on “How to run & operate an escort agency”, & then the book on “How to Become an Escort”, I started to realize that I really needed to be here.
I am not here to convince anyone of anything.
Closed minded humans will ALWAYS be closed minded. They live in fear, they judge, & 90% of the time they don’t understand what they are fighting for.
I will always believe that a woman has the right to do whatever she wants with her body. NO ONE can own another human being no matter how much they try.
Telling females they can’t become an escort (they AREN’T hookers or whores) is trying to control another human being - bottom line, & I bet that almost every single person reading this or who posted knows someone who is an escort whether you know they are or not.
But the US (Canada so so) & (other countries too) in general, try to control human beings by telling them what they should & shouldn’t do. They do this to control, plain & simple.
They can’t just concentrate on their own lives & stop sticking their nose into other people’s business, because then they would have to admit their weaknesses. It’s much more fun for people to blame & accuse others, then to take responsibility for their own stuff.
It is my joy to help people who wish to get into the escort industry.
It is also my duty to try & clean up the industry.
Will I do it by myself?
No, of course not, but that doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying.
This isn’t about whether that one man cheated on his wife.
Of course his wife knew what was going on, all wives know deep down inside, they just play the “I’m ignorant” card.
I don’t agree with cheating & lying & you might find this hypocritical, but it’s not.
While most men are married, there are many single men who see escorts too.
In this unfortunately very very sexually dysfunctional society people live in, I’d rather see a man hire an escort, than use women for sex & then walk away all the while she is heart broken because she didn’t get that he wasn’t interested in anything more, etc.
In fact it’s a proven fact that where escorting is legal, the rate of sexual abuse & rape is very low, but of course people will argue with those statistics because once again, people don’t want to see the reality, they only see what they want to see.
Men are NOT just paying for sex, & anyone who believes this is ignorant & doesn’t know what they are talking about.
Men are paying for the entire package. They want to be able to talk to someone who won’t judge them. In fact I believe that many men who see escorts are really truly looking for love.
Whether they use sex as a means to getting to that love, that’s another discussion entirely & you can see that all over the internet, just go visit a dating site, it’s all about sex over there TOO!
Are all escorts great people? Nope, not even close, but I strongly believe that if society didn’t lash out at the industry & call it a criminal act, the industry would naturally clean itself out.
Are escorts forced into the industry? NONE of the girls who buy my books are being forced.
These are women who need my help because they are going to get into the industry whether you like it or not, & I’d rather educate them the proper way than have them start off on the wrong foot.
When you criminalize something, it naturally brings forth the criminal element. Dahhh
Most escort agency owners AREN’T pimps, but then again some are.
I wasn’t a pimp, I wasn’t even a so called “Madame” as one of my escorts later on told me.
I was an entrepreneur who just happened to be very open minded.
I didn’t even start in the industry because of money, I started my first agency because I wanted to help the “girl next door types” just like me who wanted to be escorts. They had nowhere to go that was safe, where the owner wouldn’t force them to sleep with him & even female owned agencies can force the girls to do things that go against my code of ethics, so to believe that ONLY men are to blame is sexist.
I won’t continue because I could be here all day, but escorts choose to become escorts.
I DON’T tolerate any forcing of anything, & I would just as quickly out a “pimp” style agency owner if I were to find out he bought my material & was planning on opening.
Just like I out the nasty escorts who are emotionally disturbed.
I feel that is my duty.
I don’t believe in slavery, or underage girls, but beyond that, I see absolutely nothing wrong with a person choosing their own career path, so long as they aren’t hurting themselves or others.
I believe politicians & lawyers do far more harm to our society than an escort or escort agency owner will ever do & to think that every escort goes out & blackmails or steals is hilarious.
As for the Governor LOL, ummm, you think people in politics don’t lie & aren’t hypocritical? LOL, man you people are naive.
Lastly, to all the men who don’t cheat on their partners/wives, I applaud you.
I am not here to lump all men into the same category.
Men will pay for escorts, you can’t stop it & you never will AND, men who aren’t rich & powerful will also pay. Whoever thinks this is ONLY for the rich is once again, very ignorant.
It’s the 2nd oldest profession & if you people would just get off your high horses & concentrate on your own issues instead of trying to control everyone else’s, maybe you would have a better life & actually be happy.
Attacking others when you don’t even know what’s going on is mean spirited.
My intent here is not to inflame, but to voice my opinion as I have the right to have one. If I’ve educated you in some way, I’m happy to do so.
I wish everyone all the best & please no attacks towards me, I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior.
Thank you
Michelle
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:19 am incongruities:A laundry list of uncorroborated anecdotal facts from a conveniently anonymous source: “Ruth Henderson’s” article is nothing but one big cliche, which is a mere half-step above calling it complete BS.
Who cares as long as it fits the narrative, I guess.
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:21 am David H Dennis:If I was a heterosexual girl, and I could get $30,000 a month to give some joy to these guys, I’d consider it a noble calling.
I mean, how many people actually give others great joy and pleasure in a world that seems increasingly emotionally bleak and impersonal?
So many marriages today seem to be loveless corporations, like the Clintons and (apparently) the Spitzers, where the two members of the couple dash around on their glamorous jobs and barely even speak to each other.
Guys need love, even if it’s synthetic love.
If society honored this instead of hiding it under rocks, I think people would be a lot better off.
Of course if I was making $30,000 a month, paying for college tuition up to graduate school would be trivial, and at the end of the day I would be both extremely well off and well educated to slide into another position when needed.
Or if I saved $15,000 of that $30,000 a month over five years I might never need to work again. Even without compound interest calculation that’s almost a million dollars in capital, to do with what I wished.
If you don’t mind having sex with successful older guys I don’t see much of a downside, IF you realize your career has a short lifespan and you therefore manage your money well.
If you LIKE having sex with successful older guys - and I’m sure there are plenty of girls who do - it sounds like the best career possible - lots of money, lots of free time, and you’re making a living with what you love, which is a great accomplishment at any age.
As long as you can save about half your income, you’d be pretty well off at the end and maybe you’d even snag a genuinely nice guy in the process.
People who give other people joy in a joyless world are precious, and that’s why they earn the big bucks. I don’t think we should hate people who are doing an important service to guys stuck in love and lust-free marriages that seem to define all too much of today’s world.
Of course Spitzer himself is still a stupid hypocrite who should be prosecuted, just because of the way he ruined other people’s lives.
D
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:26 am Client Sixtynine:When do we get to see the IRS Agents and Judges get busted like the Democrat Governor did???
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:33 am Bryan:That’s what we need to get to. Spitzer knew that these others were in on it, and that’s why he felt safe enough to partake.
I think I’m with “right” on this one - I doubt the author is really who she claims. It’s far too well-written. I’m thinking a booking agent for a brothel doesn’t use the phrase “salubrious confines.” It also hits every leftie talking point: it’s all about patriarchal power, American prudishness and hypocrisy and moral equivalence. And amazingly, no coercion or organized crime involvement! Nope, not buying it. This is someone’s idea of what this world is like, and this article is likely a highly entertaining piece of fiction.
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:39 am DJ:For someone who claims to know so much about men, “Ruth” gets one thing flat-out wrong:
It’s ALWAYS about the sex.
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:43 am Roger L. Simon:The author is who she claims.
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:45 am Tony from CA:My girlfriend workes for an agency taking calls and says you’re right on target with this article. This is just one that got caught. Wives know that husbands are doing this but turn their eye until they get caught, thanks for putting it out there.
Tony From LA
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:47 am Talmage:I agree with many points you made through out the article, however many men do hold true to the promises they made when they put the ring on their left hand. With the introduction of internet pornography and digit dial call girls the infidelity in this country has gone off the charts. The people reading this article need to keep in mind that the truly powerful are those that are no respector of persons, particularly wealthy individuals in this case. Treat everyone the same and you will remove the supposed “power” in their high priced suits and shoes. I feel bad for the kids that are aspiring for a direction and have one politician after another “de-throned” because they have no self control. When we all think about the United States, we all need to remember the powerful statement that was created for the people of this country in The Declaration of Independence of The United States of America, which states, “…But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security…” So many people speak on the ‘Youth of America’ but fall short when attempting to address such matters as public immorality as anything less than appauling and inappropriate. The strength of this nation relies on God, and the evils of men look to overthrow these principles on a regular basis. Remember your strengths, but excercise your weaknesses.
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:50 am anonymous:http://web.archive.org/web/20070108093619/www.john-ross.net/inverted.htm
Young Women, Jobs, Money, and the Inverted Earnings Curve, or
The Real Reason You Don’t Want Your Daughter in Certain Professions
April 21, 2003
by John Ross
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:07 am anonymous:Prostitution is dehumanizing.
And working in an 8 ft x 8 ft cubicle, or on an assembly line, for 8 - 10 hours a day isn’t?!
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:09 am theyelladawg:Thanks for an insightful article. This piece is about as good as it gets at explaining what the public believes is “the unexplainable.” The record is clear enough. Labels like “Republican” and “Democrat”, “conservative” and “liberal” or “Christian”, “Jewish”, or “Islamist” don’t seem to matter. It’s time we began to understand the behavior as something else besides “cheating” or “immorality” and looked at it as a part of the fabric of the human condition.
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:12 am Douglas Cobb:This idea that powerful men pay $1000 an hour for an escort is all about power is a bunch of hogwash. They pay that kind of money to secure anonymity. If Spitzer was a salesman from Syracuse he would have paid $200 for the same service. Prostitution is about sex not power.
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:28 am tradingoro:No extra marital tryst, with a hooker,
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:32 am Joe Barn:barmaid, ceo, nun, or playboy centerfold, is WORTH me losing my
trusted and loving relationship with
my children. Period
We don’t care that he banged hookers..for as you say most men in that strata have. What we care about is that he prosecuted prostitution rings, signed laws increasing penalties for Johns, and ruine lives using the threat of exposing extra marital liasons, all while himself doing the same. You have to chose to bang hookers or prosecute them.. you can’t do both. That is why he is being nuked.
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:32 am dougf:Apologies for some of the cruder and unwarranted comments previously.
Some people can’t view something as just ‘informational’, and insist upon beating it to death with the judgmental stick.
I have no way of knowing whether what you describe is ‘true’ or not but you make a persuasive case, and I think do fairly present the dynamics of this particular ‘transaction’. It is in the end, about POWER. On both sides.
I do however think that Spitzer is particularly subject to a tidal wave of public contempt because of the hectoring, javert-like, priggishness of his public persona. Frankly I have always disliked the guy’s little holier-than-thou act and am not at all sad that he is getting a taste of what he enjoyed dishing out to others.
In this case at least it really is not about the SEX. It’s about the man who himself. Say one thing but do another. Berate others for doing what you yourself do. Pretend to be the great adjudicator of morality while behaving as poorly as you desire because you are just ever so special.
Like I said — Can’t stand the guy.
Glad that he is now gone.
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:47 am Tommy:Interesting article. It may or may not be truthful, but it is not accurate beyond the narrow cynical world in which the author lives. No, every rich and powerful man does NOT cheat on their wives. It may help you to live with yourself to rationalize that is so, but wishing it does not make is so.
The aggrieved wife may rationalize her poor choice of mate by thinking that everyone does it, but she’s just making herself feel better. There may be plenty of men of weak character, but that doesn’t mean all or most men are. Just as every man is not a john, so every woman is not a whore.
Commitments matter, be it a marriage vow, a business agreement or an oath of office. Someone who breaks one is more likely to break others. That’s the reality. You can compartimentalize it and say “it’s just about sex” all you want, but you know it’s about whether someone is trustworthy or not. Everyone is human and has failings, but do you have a pattern of them? If so then you need to look at yourself, not others.
The proof is on Mrs. Spitzer’s face. If she REALLY believed “everyone does it”, or it’s “just about sex” she wouldn’t look so humiliated as she keeps her marriage vow.
If you can’t keep a commitment, don’t make it in the first place.
Mar 13, 2008 - 11:47 am Snoop Diggity-DANG-Dawg:David H Dennis… …male prostitute…
Mar 13, 2008 - 12:00 pm Lily S.:H/T: Dan Acroyd
My favorite scripture:
Judge not, and ye shall not be judged; condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven… Luke 6:38
Mar 13, 2008 - 12:02 pm Mal:Ruth, they teach you that in whore academy?
Mar 13, 2008 - 12:05 pm Nason:Lily S:
Mar 13, 2008 - 12:29 pm RobDav:“deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.” 1 Corinthians 5:5
Yes, we should not concern ourselves over the speck in someone else’s eye when we have a plank in our own. We are all sinners. What separates us is whether we choose to control our impulses or act on them. Spitzer is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He violated his public trust and showed he has no morals to back up his public persona.
It’s not that he used a hooker .. it’s that he has LOST ALL CREDIBILITY. How can a man with a double life be trusted? How can a man who once enforced such laws, now violate them and expect to maintain his political and social status. And I’m impressed that an article written by a pimp sent me twice to the dictionary. I wouldn’t even know how to work “opprobrium” into a sentence and expect my colleagues to understand it. She must have been high-class ho, fo’ sho!
Mar 13, 2008 - 12:39 pm Eli:Everyone is equal, some are more equal then others.
Prostitution is illegal, unless your rich.
Carrying firearms (in some Democratic states) is illegal, unless your rich.
Using/abusing drugs is illegal, unless your rich (Or a high profile talk show host).
Remember kids, everyone is equal. Some are more equal then others.
Mar 13, 2008 - 1:08 pm Orion:“It’s not about power, it’s about sex!”
“It’s not about sex, it’s about power!”
“It’s about the money!”
Correct Answer: (D) All of the Above. The spouse doesn’t want to have sex or as often as the client so s/he goes out and pays for it. The spouse won’t dress up in leather and let the client beat her with a whip so s/he goes out and hires a someone who will. The client has Way Too Much Money and blows it on broads and booze. In every case the client has a need and the means to satisfy that need.
Mar 13, 2008 - 1:23 pm Patriot Girl:So, if it’s not about sex, and it’s all about about power and great conversation, why don’t they call up Hillary Clinton. She’s the “smartest woman in the world” isn’t she? And she’s powerful. I’m a great conversationalist, too … call me, Eliott, we’ll “chat”!
And how do the people who quote the Bible .. don’t judge lest ye be judged … how do you square that with the Ten Commandments? Isn’t there a commandment about coveting your neighbors wife (aka adultery)?
And just because a guys wife won’t put out .. doesn’t mean he has the right to sleep around. He made his choice, now live her!
Should people who rob banks be given a pass because they don’t have jobs where they make a lot of money? What if a man thought the job would pay more (like he thought his wife would have more sex?) Robbing banks is a crime and so is prostitution, regardless of having two consenting adults.
The delicious irony is when you have a “crime fighter” like Spitzer caught in his own hypocrisy. I just thank my stars he was screwing hot, young women and not young boys.
Mar 13, 2008 - 1:53 pm Kot:I would be surprised if she would have any other view:) Afterall, those who are not interested in her services, have no reason to call her. Thus she has an opinion that everyone is like Spitzer. The truth is most are not!
Mar 13, 2008 - 3:10 pm aloysiusmiller:What a pretentious blow hard. Lots of practice I would say. A self righteous whoremonger.
Say what you want about Spitzer but there is no evidence at all to say anything about his wife. Who knows one iota of their relationship? She has managed to keep it private. This is a disgusting and filthy shot at Mrs. Spitzer.
Shame on Pajamas Media for having anything to do with it.
Mar 13, 2008 - 3:11 pm bbbustard:Sorry to burst your bubble, but the article is phony, a hoax. Pajamas Media has been had, or is knowingly dishonest.
No super rich Wall Street type, no hedge fund manager lives on “upper Madison Avenue.” There are no 8 bedroom apartments on Madison.
If Madam Henderson had owned a business in L.A.,a lot of her clients would have had mansions and estates on Rodeo Drive.
Why Don’t Republicans ever care about Reality?
Mar 13, 2008 - 3:32 pm RT1:( And there, in the closing paragraphs of this “everybody does it” article, stands the reason for making prostitution illegal:
“I did not inquire into the fate of the girls who sort of faded away. I did not want to hear about their loneliness and poverty.” )
Then you’d have to make pro sports illegal as well. A vast majority of them fade away after a few years ( once their body is used up ). With a college degree worth pratically nothing they get a low end job somewhere, after they’ve spent everything they earned, if they saved any of it at all.
Both are using their body to get money. What’s different about it?
Mar 13, 2008 - 3:36 pm dan:All this yammering is pathetic.
It’s about sex. With hot women. Where money is little object. Most people make more money to get more sex anyway; I mean, who gives a shit about money? No one. We want want Sex. And sex is Stuff #1.
Secondly, what’s this about American prudery? Are you serious? Only a call girl, broken beyond repair though perhaps unaware of it, could forget that prostitution offends against simple animal sexual etiquette between people, and is an abomination before Love, whether religious or not. If admitting that makes you despise yourself, well, then despise yourself, slut.
Mar 13, 2008 - 4:10 pm Elizabeth S.:This article disgusts me. Look at how enthralled some of the commenters are with this story. This certainly isn’t what prostitution is usually like, and readers shouldn’t kid themselves into thinking prostitution is okay because this article boosts their vapid arguments.
Furthermore, I don’t believe a damn word of it. Anyone could write this titillating story. I’m glad at least one other here (bbustard) sees it, although the slur about Republicans “not caring about Reality” is unbelievably stupid. (I AM a Republican, and I am not alone in my disgust or disbelief.)
RT1:
If you don’t see the difference between professional sports, an occupation to which people aspire and that requires hard work and TALENT, and prostitution, I suggest you should try getting a job in both. See which job you get. Nice try at trivializing prostitution, but you failed. Epic.
dougf:
Some people can’t view something as just ‘informational’, and insist upon beating it to death with the judgmental stick.
Right, because God forbid anyone have an opinion. What if PJM had an article written by a white supremacist (or a fake one)? Would it be better that we just shut up and read, rather than rightfully beating him or her with a stick of judgment? Sorry, but you can call me judgmental all you want, because I AM going to judge it. Glamourizing prostitution with incredible tales of “high end” whoring is, in my eyes, worthy of criticism, and I will not be so open-minded that my brains fall out. “Ruth,” whether she is real or just a storyteller who fantasizes about being a whore, is a soulless POS, and so is Spitzer’s Kristen.
But worst of all is Spitzer himself. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Shame on PJM for giving a voice to this cretin, whether she’s telling the truth or not.
Mar 13, 2008 - 5:01 pm bbbustard:Sorry to seem to slur. You obviously are asking the right questions.
Mar 13, 2008 - 5:28 pm P. Ami:Whenever I write something that implies “all” Republicans - I should just shut up. I apologize.
Still, I do think that many in the Bush administration have believed more in spin than in truth, more in their capacity to change the perception of reality, than in reality itself.
Dang, I was just hoping for more pictures of the girl in the bikini.
Mar 13, 2008 - 5:41 pm dougf:“Sorry, but you can call me judgmental all you want, because I AM going to judge it.”– ES
“He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” — Not ES.
Well on sober second thought I think I still prefer the later concept to the former. Hope all that ‘judging’ doesn’t wear you out overly because in today’s society you must be busy almost 24-7. I have no problem with being ‘judgmental’. I just am a little more directional in my focus. As you should have noted I hold exactly your attitudes regarding the real villain of the piece. They can tar and feather Spitzer and run him out of town on a rail for all I care.
I don’t think that the article was ‘glamorizing’ prostitution at all. Just describing it. But perhaps your definitions are a little different from mine.
“Then they got addicted to the money and the lifestyle. And then one day, usually between the ages of 25 and 28, once they’d developed that knowing, experienced look that clients instinctively disliked, they found that themselves in a classic bind: they were addicted to high living but could no longer pay for it; they had no marketable skills; and years of late nights and lazy days had left them with no self-discipline. What to do? The really smart ones pulled themselves together and, with the help of a sympathetic client, started some kind of a business. Others married rich, cynical, older men in a sort of paid-wife arrangement. Those were the most common stories. I did not inquire into the fate of the girls who sort of faded away. I did not want to hear about their loneliness and poverty.”
Does not sound very ‘glamorous’ to me.
Sounds kind of sad.
But who am I to judge ?
Mar 13, 2008 - 6:43 pm becket03:Beautifully written piece. Like some others, I found myself growing a bit skeptical as I read it. The style was a little too accomplished, the lefty talking points a little too well articulated, especially since they were so deftly understated. I smelled an assistant prof at Bard.
But I suppose the piece might be for real, especially since the redoubtable Roger Simon vouchsafes it. And then how much sadder, really, is that? So fine a mind who at some point in her life, maybe even still, lacked the discernment to recognize the actual and universal final products of the world’s oldest profession — pain, loneliness, misery and debasement.
Mar 13, 2008 - 8:06 pm Roger L. Simon:Elizabeth S., I will repeat myself from above.
As CEO of Pajamas Media,I affirm that “Ruth Henderson” is exactly who she says she is.
That said, of course, this article represents her opinion - just as other PJM articles represent their authors’ opinions. You are free - indeed encouraged - to agree or disagree. This is, as Doug F. puts it, “information.” It’s our job to provide that and yours to evaluate it.
FWIW, it may interest you to know that I disagree with America-centric attitude of the author. To me this is an international problem. The same things occur in all rich countries (remember the Profumo Affair?)… amd in poor ones too in a different way. There’s nothing particularly American about it at all.
Mar 13, 2008 - 9:25 pm william:I was a little disappointed when pictures of the $4300 hooker appeared. She’s an attractive woman, but don’t call her for a Victoria’s Secret shoot. I thought Spitzer was risking his career and reputation for the kind of woman and the kind of sex that only James Bond types get on the free market. It’s worse than sleazy; it’s banal. Ruth Henderson may be who she says she is, but prostitution is not what she says it is.
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:21 pm Elroy Jetson:Ruth stated what I suspected about Spitzer’s wife- that she knew about the governor’s extra-curricular activities. It just doesn’t jive with the “woman scorned” concept that she egged her husband to fight for his job as governor. It’s weird behavior for someone that actually cared about the health of her marriage and family. Holding political power was her first priority as it appears.
Mar 13, 2008 - 10:49 pm Judy:I’m surprised that Roger finds “Ruth’s” article America-centric. The story Ruth tells is also one which is happening in London, where I live, and Paris– and a whole load of other international cities. I don’t see anything unique to the US in anything “Ruth” writes.
It’s very telling that so many commenters can’t believe that someone who’s interesting and intelligent, and an outstanding writer, can become caught up in the prostitution business as one of its agents.
What I think the article does just skim deftly over is not just the depressing and usually sad fates of the young girls who get involved in prostitution at any level. It’s the fact that something like 85% or more of those who become involved in prostitution (at whatever level it operates) do so out of a background of child sexual abuse and/or drug abuse. And of those a huge proportion are groomed into it at a vulnerable pre-adult stage by the predatory agents that the prostitution business depends on.
Not surprisingly, it’s since emerged that “Kristen”, the young woman named in the Spitzer case says she has a very troubled family and drug use background.
And that’s what the men she describes as paying for their exploitation buy–they clearly feel fine with the anonymity that allows them to make fatuous statements about ‘having fun” for a few hours without having to confront their central role in the continuing degradation and addictive dependency of the young women.
“Ruth’s” article is silent on who actually owned the very high end business she worked in and where the profits were going to. My understanding is that the enormous profits go into organized crime outfits. Maybe I’m wrong about the particular “escort agency” she worked for.
And, unless, “Ruth” actually has direct knowledge of Mrs Spitzer, neither she nor we have any real knowledge about whether she knew or not, or why she appeared alongside her husband. We, all of us, have the most tremendous capacity for self-deception. Mrs Spitzer would not be the first wife not to have understood what her husband was up to, or to have been too conflicted by what she might think of as the interests of her daughters to refuse to appear to be standing by her man.
The wife of one of Britain’s former attorney generals appeared to stand by her husband when he was caught kerb-crawling street prostitutes in London some years ago. She subsequently committed suicide not long afterwards.
Both she, Mrs Spitzer and the women who get caught up in the prostitution business deserve our compassion. I’m sorry that there’s almost a hint of “she had it coming” in the way “Ruth’s” story treats her. And I think shrugging our shoulders about the hypocrisy of the powerful men in our society isn’t enough.
“Ruth’s” article does reveal the corrosive effects of prostitution
Mar 14, 2008 - 1:44 am Peg C.:Ruth’s piece rings true to me. My comments are:
1. How many of us would want our children to do this? As sad as aspects of life are and the idea of bringing joy in a joyless world, short of becoming Japan how does a culture like our Judeo-Christian society become one that values and appreciates such a “career” or lifestyle? The contradictions are overwhelming. The allure of sex in our society is built on the forbidden and the titillating. I say this as a straightlaced (though happily married) woman.
2. I could never do this or want my female relatives doing it. But I certainly understand why beautiful women do it.
3. It may be about power and sex, but it is undeniable: Women have sex to get money, and men get money in order to get sex. This is part of the natural order of things, fortunately or unfortunately. Men and women complement each other perfectly.
4. Several prominent people have said “Men don’t pay women for sex, they pay for them to leave.” I absolutely believe this. Modern women are a royal pain in the a$$, but so are all independent individuals. Maybe this will all shake out over the next few generations. Or maybe we’ll just soon have sex robots. That’s my bet. I’ll take one who looks like the vampire in “Moonlight.”
Mar 14, 2008 - 4:53 am RT1:( If you don’t see the difference between professional sports, an occupation to which people aspire and that requires hard work and TALENT, and prostitution, I suggest you should try getting a job in both. See which job you get. Nice try at trivializing prostitution, but you failed. Epic. )
Nice try at moving the goalposts there. Now your definition of a valid job includes “hard work and talent”. I guess that would knock a few other legal occupations out of the running as well. And by the way, I have done pro sports, and damaged my knees in the process, so now I don’t do that anymore. You failed. Epic^2.
Mar 14, 2008 - 5:29 am Rae:I don’t think that he will have any difficulty caring for his children. He was left HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of dollars in an inheritance by his father or grandfather. Their style of living will continue along the same vein it is now.
As for dehumanizing, I think that is a crock. Escorting provides women with a lifestyle that they enjoy. If they choose to be in a loveless arranged money only marriage that is their CHOICE. But it is at least a choice they got to make all on their own.
What two consenting adults do is their own business. I would be more worried about illegal human trafficking than I would any high end escort service.
Mar 14, 2008 - 5:46 am misha:I don’t think that what Eliot Spitzer did was all that wrong. I mean the call girl is pretty hot. Governor Spitzer only showed himself to be a normal man, with normal needs. He didn’t hurt anyone. It was purely a business transaction. Prostitution is a victimless crime. Yeah you can say the girls sometimes go on drugs or whatever, but you could say the same about waitresses, and no one blames waitressing or restaurants for it. Drug abuse and prostitution are two different things.
Prostitution is called “the world’s oldest profession” for a reason. We’ve always had prostitutes and we always will have them, at least as long as rich, successful and powerful men (who happen to be mostly old and bald by the time they arrive) keep on wanting to bang hot young sexy things (which means forever). After all, if a man can’t use his wealth and power to get his freak on then what’s the point of wealth and power?
Speaking of the Bill Clinton Monica Lewinski scandal, all the Russians I know heard this story, and they were like, “Yeah, AND…” No one could understand what the big deal was, because in Russia it is expected that a powerful man such as Clinton of course gets a little on the side. (And someone thought he didn’t?) Not only in Russia but in Catholic France too, a rich and powerful man is expected to take first a wife and then eventually a mistress. Every successful man in France has both a wife and a mistress. It’s expected. A wife and a mistress serve two separate purposes; one is useful for taking care of a household and the affairs pertaining to children and the other is good for hot bedroom action. So what’s the problem? Didn’t Rudy Giuliani also have a mistress? Didn’t John McCain also have that sex-bomb lobbyist gal? (But if the story about McCain is true that might be a bit more of a concern, because the implication is that McCain allowed that woman to sway his vote in the senate, in exchange for her letting Grandpa John get the action Ouch!)
So Spitzer’s big problem is that he has a thang for young, hot, 22 y.o. women? And? Men like to have sex with young and attractive women. Get over it already, you prudes!
The problem is not anything that men like a Spitzer or a Bill Clinton do with younger women. That’s only normal. The problem is with the puritanical ways of America. Where he Russian Orthodox and European Catholic (France, Italy) traditions understand the true nature of man as a fallen creature, but the puritan protestant tradition of America misstates human nature and wrongly believes in the perfectibility of man in the here and now (in this world). Of course it sets people up for such falls, and we’ve seen this again and again. How many big-time preachers found themselves demoted by sex scandals in recent years?
The French way (Catholic Orthodox) is that rich and powerful men, such as the president, have a wife and a mistress. Big deal. A man is only human and nothing cleanses the soul better than a little bit of hot raw action, down and dirty. It may not be ideal, but it corresponds with an honest assessment of man’s true nature, as a fallen creature.
By contrast the American way is that any powerful man, a leader or a president, must pretend to be the perfect “family man” completely happy and contented with his own little wifey and children, within the narrow confines of bourgeoisie family relations and Puritan ideals. But how inhuman! This means that his “real man” must stay carefully hidden, even if there is nothing particularly monstrous or unusual in him.
Russia is an Orthodox country too, and also has a more realistic grip on human nature. It seems to me that I remember many photos and videos of various members of the Yeltsin Administration being caught in sexually compromising positions (sometimes with very young girls). But did that lead to their downfall or that of Yeltsin himself? No!
Russia of course has an enormously rich body of literature which gives the Russian soul a reference point on issues touching on sin and the human condition. For example, in Russian author Leo Tolstoy’s classic 1877 book Anna Karenina, in the first paragraphs of the very first chapter we hear the interior thoughts that a gentleman has about his wife, right after she found out and confronted him about his affair with a much younger woman. He does not hate his wife, he still respects her. He still provides support for her and continues to meet all her needs. He does not interfere in what she does with the children or how she runs the household. He simply needs something more and she should be more understanding. After all, she is older now and not the beauty she once was. Later on she will eventually decide to forgive him.
Anna Karenina in English Translation:
http://reactor-core.org/anna-karenina.html#p1c1
Posted March 13, 2008 7:26 PM
Mar 14, 2008 - 6:05 am Dranoes:Adam, people choose not to “get it” because if you concentrate on the common sense facts of what Spitzer did wrong instead of pretending that everybody is upset about the cheating, you can’t make tortured projections about what a hypocrytical society we are blah blah blah…
Mar 14, 2008 - 8:21 am Mister Snitch!:A fine, insightful article.
Mar 14, 2008 - 9:32 am paradoctor:The whole thing sounds to me like a set-up. Spitzer had made enemies in the mob and on Wall Street, so they found his weakness and took him down with it.
What interests me is the media obsession. Suddenly the news was all-Spitzer, all the time. I guess they were in on the deal too.
Mar 14, 2008 - 10:13 am Intheknow:This is a well written and insightful article. I believe it. As someone who has met many escorts what was written rings true. And I do believe that for the men it is about power - the power for him to have a beautiful woman at his beck and call, the power to have his choice of sex without issue, the power to make her leave without feelings involved. Sex may feel good but with the power dynamic behind it I’m sure it takes it to another level.
Mar 14, 2008 - 10:38 am David in AK:Paradoctor has an excellent point. I also found it interesting that U.S. Senator David Vitter (R-LA) has not been mentioned this entire thread. He, like Spitzer, is a moral crusader, though Vitter focuses on family values, like abstinence only sex education. When Vitter’s dalliances with prostitutes were unearthed, he stayed in office. Folks on this thread who are outraged at Spitzer ought to explain why Vitter deserves less.
Mar 14, 2008 - 11:37 am SenorPlaid:Boy. I love all the stone-throwers chiming in about Spitzer, the call girl, Mrs. Spitzer and even the article writer, as if anyone is in any position to judge.
Yes, folks, it IS the sex. That’s why we cared so much about Clinton. Look at Bush. Laws broken, rights trampled, public papers hidden, Constitution whizzed on. No one gives a crap, some even applaud it, but a public official gets caught with his briefs down, and OMG he’s violated the public trust! He must be held accountable! Let’s investigate it to the hilt and get that schmoe out of office!
Nothing like a good sex scandal to really get every prude’s tut-tutting motor going. And apparently, we have a lot of them in this country.
Mar 14, 2008 - 11:43 am Dranoes:Oh Senor, please. Choose to get it, will you? If Spitzer had had an affair with a friend’s wife, sure it would have been emabarrassing for him (had he been found out) but there would have been no threat to his office. On the other hand, by your reasoning nobody must have cared about that little Nixon affair because there was no sex angle, right? Iran-Contra? Well, I guess you’ve got Fawn Hall there…
And hey, at the end of the day Clinton sailed.
Mar 14, 2008 - 12:31 pm Christastrophe:Oh Dranoes, give it a rest. Do you really think the entire world would be talking about this if Spitzer was involved in some bone-dry scandal involving the SEC or something? Both he and Jim McGreevy “violated the public’s trust” with minor asexual scandals (charges of extortion, cronyism, Troopergate, etc), but nobody outside of the editorial pages gave a damn until they did something involving sex.
This isn’t about “violating the public’s trust”. Those twenty pics on the New York Post website today weren’t of Elliot Spitzer’s oath of office posing topless. It was the prostitute.
You do your point further disservice by bringing Clinton into this. There were any number of (mostly faux) scandals involving the Clintons that drove Republicans mad during the 90’s. Grab any random person on the street and see if they can remember any of them that don’t involve sex. The average American couldn’t tell you the first thing about Whitewater, but they know what a cigar and a blue dress signify. The average American doesn’t know who Marc Rich is and doesn’t care, which pretty much obliterates your point.
The New York Times posted this story on Monday afternoon, and by Tuesday morning pretty much every person in the country knew the significance of “3 diamonds”, “four thousand dollars” and “Client #9″. And the lede wasn’t “Spitzer violates trust, law.” It was, “Spitzer caught with hooker”. Give me a break.
Mar 14, 2008 - 2:21 pm tanstaafl:A man cheated on his wife!
Not just any man. A man who’d built his entire reputation around targeting immorality and corruption. A real dogged and many say virulently ruthless man in “standing up” for his so called principles.
…mainstream America’s hypocritical opprobrium
The hypocrisy isn’t America’s.
It’s Eliot Spitzer’s.
Mar 14, 2008 - 5:16 pm Michael T:Isn’t this about one simple fact? Monogamy is an unnatural state for the human animal.
Mar 15, 2008 - 6:11 am PatrickN:First of all, I’d like to thank “Ruth Henderson” for her insightful article. However, I’m not sure whether I agree wholeheartedly with the power-over-sex statement. I went to whores and I did it purely for the sex.
Second, I get so angry about the oh so righteous comments from people stating that visiting whores is unethical, abusive of women and all that stuff. Blablabla, so what?
Increasingly, I just think that this is just a different form of feminism to make men feel bad about what they are.
Men should stay with what they have chosen several years ago, even if that woman became fat and ugly. Men are beasts and should listen to their women, who always know it better.
In addition, it’s unethical! Don’t you feel bad about abusing a woman? Don’t you think about your spouse and your children? You betray pure love and eternal salvation! And your betrayed wife has the right to make you pay dearly for it!
Frankly, I could not care less. I do not let myself get emotionally blackmailed for being what I am. If I want to have sex with a consenting woman, I will do so. I am a man and I will not let me being reined in by what I perceive the reign of a culture that fails to accept humans as what they are.
Humans, with all their good and bad sides. It simply does not help to condemn your human side.
Just the fact that prostitution is the oldest vocation in the world says it all. It won’t go away. It will always be there. You can deny and condemn it as long as you want. The world just won’t change because of people not being able to accept some hard truths they can not deal with.
I am so appalled by these hypocritical, condemning and emotionally blackmailing people who want to tell me how the world should be like. These people never learn, not by the thousands of years that should have taught them otherwise.
Mar 15, 2008 - 9:12 am Pudentilla:the fact that Spitzer put people in jail for engaging in the same conduct he did had nothing to do with people’s reaction?
Mar 15, 2008 - 7:55 pm ddc:I wonder if the issue isn’t really all just about money.
men have it. have the ability to make more of it, faster. the ratio of single or married women to that of single or married men based on percent of millions earned is quite disparate.
that said, and according to Ruth, a woman who is attractive(since intelligence means nothing in the high-pay escorting business apparently) can only produce that kind of money in the window of 18-25, since after that, her value goes down.
Unattractive young women, on the other hand, who have to depend on their brains have a longer “shelf” life in the fortune building world, yet, raising a man’s children takes her out of the game consistantly, while her male counter-part continues to rise un-disturbed, unless of course he divorces his wife and assets are shared.
Being unattractive may also stem her rise to the top as most corps are run by men who probably exhibit a preference to nice-looking women as co-workers.
(All guessing here as well as trying to make some sense of the dynamic)
there really is an extreme inbalance of fortune equality. the stakes are high against both plain single women and previously successful women now taking time out to raise a man’s children. I think there will be until there is fortune equality. for instance equal percentage of fortune 500 women to men. until then, women have a long way to go to get out of the prostitution business.
the playing field is still far from equal.
nonetheless Ruth, good article.
Mar 16, 2008 - 3:28 pm ddc:Democrats are just as much sexually out of their minds as Republicans. No one party has the lock on debauchery.
Mentioning why Vitter is still in office only brings to mind Barney Frank and the bi-sexual brotel running out of his own home.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/frenzy/frank.htm
How hilarious it is that the Dems cry about how unfair it all is.
Mar 16, 2008 - 3:49 pm Krissy:This may be the most realistic article I’ve read so far.
Mar 16, 2008 - 6:53 pm Jolene:Thanks, “Ruth.” Your statement about power versus sex not only rang true, it clanged true!
At the same time, I agree with a number of men who say it’s always about sex, and I believe that’s true in their experience and the experience of almost all men they know.
But they and I agree only until the question becomes what *kind* of sex and what *price* is the sex? When one wants sex that is exclusive mainly for the sake of exclusivity, then it isn’t just sex any more, it’s exclusive sex — and that’s about power, not just sex.
The way you spelled out the power/sex facet clarifies one aspect of what some men will or will not do for sex, or what they thinks they are capable of. Unfortunately for the men who have isolated themselves with their exercises of power, they find themselves more and more cut off from their essential human vulnerability.
One thing that is very healing and spiritual for a man is to surrender his ego to a woman, and sex (mystic ecstasy) can be a gateway for that to happen. Surrender of the ego is, of course, the polar opposite of the egotistical exercises of power that the johns are indulging in — each exercise of which naturally takes them further from spiritual health.
~ Jolene
Mar 17, 2008 - 4:09 am Lucy:most realistic article I’ve read so far
May 21, 2008 - 7:32 am